The Moments After
by nevermore199
Summary: After having her heart broken by Izumi, Meroko thought that was the end of the story. But it isn't the end of anything, no matter how much she wishes she could put it all behind her. Izumi x Meroko, pre-manga.
1. crying in the rain

**Hello there, darlings. Back I am with another work (when I should be finishing the ones I have going, eh heh…) to stir things up.**

**This is kind of like a companion piece to ****Guns and Roses****—it's written in the same style and it's also Izumi x Meroko. However, this story takes place in between Izumi and Meroko's break-up (seen in the first side story of Volume Three) and the beginning of the main series. So you don't need to read ****Guns and Roses**** to get this, of course.**

**(But if you want to, I'm not stopping you; I never will be happy with its low number of views…)**

**Ahem. Anyway…here we go again. Enjoy.**

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The rain pours down, lightning shoots across the sky, and Meroko Yui runs until the world blurs around her, runs until her body is pounding and her legs threaten to give out.

She wants to give up. To lie down, curl up, sob until the world disappears. Never wake up again.

Still she runs.

Finally, she slips and falls, and with a cry, she falls onto the street. She lays there for what seems like a long time, too weak to get up.

_Izumi…_

_Izumi…_

_Don't leave me…_

"Why?" she chokes out.

The rain doesn't respond.

"I—I did my best, right?" she tries again, her voice shaking dangerously, near the breaking point. "But—why—_why_—?"

She thinks of all the times she ran after Izumi, breathless and eager, trying to catch his attention. All the times she told him she loved him.

All she gave.

_Izumi…!_

And then the breaking point arrives.

The rain strengthens, falling harder with each passing second, and Meroko succumbs to the sobs, letting the despair overtake her until she's swept away in a deluge of pain, with rain and tears on her face and _his name_ coming from her mouth again and again as she cries and cries.

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I actually have this thing almost entirely written already—that's what Christmas break will do to you—so you can probably expect an update every couple of days. Woot!


	2. broken dreamer

**Chapter Two, coming at you. :-)**

**By the way—Chapter One's title came from "Crying in the Rain" by The Everly Brothers. This chapter's title…um, I just randomly spun it off the top of my head. Maybe next time?**

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Sunset that evening: The rain has stopped—on the outside, at least; someone (she has no idea who and it doesn't matter to her anyway) has helped Meroko back to her room and into bed.

As for Meroko, her body is limp. The tears have long since dried on her face, and she isn't crying anymore because she's cried every tear she has. Her eyes are empty—completely devoid of emotion, even more so than _his_.

No more dreams for this maiden; no more happy smiles or overly-loud love declarations in the sun.

She's really dead this time.

* * *

_This is the last time._

"I told you you'd get hurt."

_I won't get hurt again._

_You won't hurt me again._

"I'm sorry!"

_If you are going to leave me…_

_Then I don't need you either._

_I'll lock it all away…and you will never see it again._

…

_**I will never love again.**_

* * *

Somewhere among the broken glass, Meroko begins to laugh softly.

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Oh, I would love to animate this. Or see this in manga. Maybe that's egotistical of me, but I really want to

_**see**_** this, you know? The image of Meroko on broken glass, the insane laughter…Maybe with blood, and tears…**

**Uh, ahem, sorry about that. -___-**

**Anyway, I realize that this chapter was...sad. Very sad. I'm putting poor Me-chan through hell, aren't I? -_-' But it's Izumi-kun's fault! Izumi-kun, you have to fix things!!!**

**...**

**Now that we've had our daily dose of insane…Uh, read and review!**


	3. wishing i could hate you

**In case I forgot to mention this earlier—this is not meant to be a happy story. It's not going to be a happy story. If you're looking for a happy story…well, too bad.******

:D

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The next day, Meroko puts on a happy face for her new partner, Takuto Kira. All smiles and laughs and cheerful greetings, when in reality she wants to hate him—because if he hadn't gone and killed himself, she would still be with Izumi and everything would be just fine.

_Why couldn't you have kept living, Takuto?_ she thinks sometimes, very hypocritically. _What was so bad about your life, anyway? There are plenty of people who have it worse, you know._

But she can't hate Takuto. She can't even hate Izumi—and he's the one she should hate. She should want to attack him, to rip and tear at him until there's nothing left. To make him feel the pain he dealt her.

And when she sees him again—one week after _that day_—that's exactly what Meroko tries to do.

"I hate you!" she screams at him. "You—you're nothing but a—how could you—_how could you_?"

She breaks off, glaring and breathing heavily, unable to come up with the right words to yell.

On his face, a bruise is forming where she slapped him, and he holds the place with one hand.

"I'm sorry," he says finally.

Still glaring spitefully, she turns away. "Just stay the hell away from me," she says.

Later on, Takuto says that she seems a little down. Meroko replies with a happy, "What are you talking about? I'm fine."

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Poor Me-chan. She really is trying so hard. Oh, Me-chan…I love you…


	4. beautiful liar

**Howdy again. I have nothing to say this time around, other than this: I think I also did an Imadoki one-shot titled "Beautiful Liar." But, hey, whatever. Not a lot of people read it, so I can reuse the title without being noticed…**

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The first time she tells Takuto she loves him, she blushes. Bright red, and quickly bolts, feeling embarrassed beyond belief because _oh my God, I told him I loved him!_

She forgets that she made a promise not to fall in love anymore.

And then she feels irresistibly reminded of another love and another first confession, and she stops running outside an alley. Puts a hand to the wall and tries to smooth out her breathing, but all of a sudden it's much harder to think straight.

And then someone is grabbing her and pulling her into the darkness, with one hand clamped over her mouth, and she tries to scream but when her mouth finally comes free, it's Izumi standing over her, holding her against the brick wall, a faint smirk on his face, and her breath is gone in an instant.

He asks her if she really likes Takuto (_is that true?_), and she answers that she doesn't love Izumi anymore, red-faced and in a forceful voice. He laughs, and he says something then but her mind and heart are racing so fast that she can barely focus on his words.

"You love me," he whispers finally, his voice soft and seductive, his face looming closer and closer to hers. "You can't forget my voice and body."

"Please don't say such things!" she begs, her eyes tightly shut.

_No…_

"I…"

Her voice trails off when their lips meet, and her eyes widen in shock as he presses her hard against the wall and traces her mouth with his tongue, but she doesn't fight. Never once does she try.

"You're a liar," he breathes against her lips.

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I think I love that particular manga event way too much, cause I abuse it in fanfiction all the time.

**Oh well.**


	5. the clothes you left

**I'm not in the mood for humor tonight. So here's the chapter.**

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Time and again, she considers abandoning the clothing he had bought for her. Going back to her old things. Wrapping herself in white again, with the hopes of being pure and beautiful, like all she'd once dreamt she could be.

Because this outfit holds so many memories—tears on a rainy day, and kisses that she couldn't resist—that she wants so badly to forget. Memories that she wants to sweep under the rug and walk away from.

But every time she tries to throw the outfit away—when she takes off her hat and holds it above a garbage can with shaking hands—something holds her back.

And when she redresses in the outfit she wore before—flowing and white, an embodiment of an innocent yet tragic love—she thinks of a present and a bunch of useless declarations, and her throat closes up and she can't wait to get out of it.

She wants to forget these memories. All of them.

And she can't. And she hates it.

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By the way, chapter title comes from the song "When You're Gone" by Avril Lavigne. How very fitting.


	6. waking up is hard to do

**Ironically enough, Mai-chan requested more of Izumi-kun, and that's what this chapter has. :D It's a little short, but it does give him a viewpoint, too.**

**The chapter title comes from "Better That We Break" by Maroon 5.**

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Every day, it takes Izumi an enormous amount of effort to pull his miserable body out of bed. All he wants to do is curl up under the covers and never come out.

No matter how hard he tries, he can't get Meroko's face out of his head.

Her hurt, stunned, and tear-streaked face.

_What have I done?_

He keeps trying to reach out to her. So many times he's tried since that horrible day. But she pushes him away every time. And why should he expect any different?

She loved him once. She loves him still. He can see it in her face, no matter how hard she tries to hide it.

And it's made all the more painful by the fact that he loves her, too.

Finally, he's realized that he loves her.

_Too little, too late._

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Like

**Guns and Roses****, there aren't very many other chapters that focus completely on Izumi. I will tell you that this isn't Izumi-kun's last moment in the spotlight, though, so look forward to that!**


	7. wake up with bloodshot eyes

****

Finally, we have a bit more of Izumi-kun and Me-chan together. :D Love-love love!

**Chapter title is from "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5. (Cause Maroon 5 is da awesome, yes?)**

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Sometimes Meroko wakes up in the middle of the night from nightmares, wide-eyed and screaming, and it takes her hours to fall back into uneasy sleep.

She recalls darkness, rain. Running through the streets, slipping on cobblestones, with a dark shrouded someone floating ahead of her, always just out of her reach. Crying out for that person, with her fingers grappling for the shadow ahead of her.

And then that someone disappears. And the dream stops there.

She knows who it is. Knows perfectly well, but all she does is convince herself that it's Takuto instead. Takuto, who she pretends to love, who she showers with all the affection she can find, even though she wishes so desperately that he were someone else.

* * *

One night the dreams are particularly bad, and she goes outside to reflect on all of this. With tears clouding her vision, she runs headlong into Izumi.

"You're up late, Meroko," he notes, smiling.

"Leave me alone," Meroko mumbles, too shaken to bother putting anger in her voice. She tries to push around him, but he grabs her arm and pulls her back, carefully examining her face.

"Why are you crying?" he asks quietly, all the mockery gone from his tone.

"I'm _not_," Meroko says firmly, yanking her arm away. "Mind your own business."

She turns around and stomps off. She tells herself quite viciously that she doesn't want him to follow her.

So, of course, he does.

"What's the matter?" he asks insistently.

"It's none of your business!"

"You're crying."

"I am not!"

"Stop lying."

"Stop bothering me!"

"Hey…"

Izumi and Meroko both turn at the sound of a third voice. A blue-haired, deer-horned shinigami, hanging out of his door and looking very irritable indeed.

"It's three in the morning," he grumbles. "Could you guys take that somewhere else?"

Meroko sighs. "Sorry. I was just _leaving_." She shoots a glare at Izumi, then flies off.

He follows her. Again.

(Was he always that bad at taking hints?)

"Come on, Meroko. Really." His voice is so gentle that she doesn't recognize it. "What's the matter?"

"Why do you care?" she snaps, whirling around. Fresh tears spatter everywhere, but she doesn't notice. "You never cared before, Izumi." Her voice wavers. "I thought you wanted this. I thought you wanted me miserable!"

Izumi doesn't answer. Eyes narrowed, Meroko flies away.

He doesn't follow her this time.

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This was originally a lot shorter. It cut off right after Meroko tells Izumi to mind his own business. But then I realized that it kind of left things unfinished and it was way out of character for Izumi not to follow just like that, so I continued it. Aren't you all lucky? :)


	8. bitter irony

****

And back to Me-chan we go. :)

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It's so ironic, Meroko reflects.

The way he chases her now. The way he sneaks in kisses and gives her knowing smirks and shoots down her lies like target practice. It's all so bitterly ironic that she wants to laugh.

"Where's the justice in the world?" she demands of her reflection in the mirror. "Seriously! Do the powers that be not see anything wrong with this arrangement? _He_ dumped _me_! I didn't even do anything wrong, right?"

Of course, her reflection doesn't say anything.

"Or did I?" Meroko groans and tears at her hair. "Did I accidentally kill someone who wasn't supposed to die? Did I run over a puppy? What did I do to deserve this?"

Still nothing.

"You're no help at all," Meroko mutters.

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I must admit: Some of the things Me-chan wonders, I have wondered myself. Aw, but it's okay, Me-chan… *hugs*


	9. things left unsaid

**Second-to-last chapter, and it's come a bit early, _and_ we have more of Izumi-kun! Yay. : ) I told you it wouldn't be his last moment in the spotlight!**

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Nearly every day, Izumi sees Meroko flirting with Takuto. Smiling excessively, batting her eyes, showering him with unwanted hugs.

It makes him sick to his stomach. Just _sick_.

He can barely stand to watch Takuto and Meroko together. And yet every time he sees them, he can't take his eyes away.

Some form of self-torture, maybe?

And in some twisted way, he feels pleasure, deep down, when Takuto rejects her. When a flash of the crestfallen girl he knows so well flits onto her face.

And he sees the truth.

He knows that Meroko still loves him. He knows that she can't forget him, that she still thinks of him every day and night. He knows that Takuto realizes it too, that he's rejecting her solely based on that.

But what is he supposed to do with the information, anyway? He can put up a strong front and rub it in her face all he likes—and he does—but in the end, he has no right. He was the one who gave her up.

It was all his fault.

And so _what right does he have to her_?

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The last chapter is coming up next! We're almost done here!


	10. never

**And here we have it. The final chapter. *Sniffle…* (By the way, sorry it's a bit late. Mom was on the computer half the night, so...)**

**A quick comment on the chapter title: It's meant to tie in to Meroko's final statement to Izumi (which you'll see), but I also meant to connect it to the title of the final chapter of ****Guns and Roses****. Its last chapter was called ****always****, and I wanted to show the opposite spectrum kind of thing with this. You see???**

**Anyway, here we go! Enjoy the last chapter, everyone!**

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Days go by, then weeks, then months. And before either of them knows it, it's been two years.

One day: right before a case, Meroko finds herself pushed against a wall (déjà vu), her yells muffled by Izumi's lips locked firmly on top of hers. She shoves against his chest with all her strength, but he's too strong.

When she finally gets her mouth free for longer than half a second, she chokes out, "S-Stop it…"

Izumi smiles. "Why?"

"Stop it already! I—I have work…"

His smile only widens at that. "Is that all?"

Meroko grits her teeth and shoves him away. "Get—_off_!"

Izumi shakes his head, sighing as though Meroko is being a troublesome child. "You're so stubborn."

Meroko doesn't bother answering that with anything more than a glare. She turns to fly away.

"You still love me, Meroko," he calls out as she takes off. "You know you do."

"Stupid!" she calls out scathingly, turning her head back to stick out her tongue. "I'd never go with a thing like you!"

She turns her face away before she can see the flash of hurt go through his eyes.

* * *

"So, who have we got?"

Meroko looks down at the file. "Mitsuki Koyama, age twelve. Looks like she's got a year left to live, but someone who's going to prevent her death is supposed to appear today."

"So we've just got to stop them from meeting?" Takuto stretches his arms. "That's easy enough."

"Yeah." Meroko sighs. "Is it just me, or are they dying younger?"

Takuto shrugs. "Who knows?" He takes the file from Meroko and glances it over. "So, you ready?"

-

"_You love me."_

-

"Yeah…"

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"_I'd never go with a thing like you!"_

-

Meroko nods. "Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go."

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From the beginning, I wanted Mitsuki-chan to make a cameo, but I wasn't sure how to manage it. And then this idea came…Ta-kun got to make an appearance as well, and that was nice; it mixed things up a little.

**And…that's it. ****The Moments After**** is officially completed. Thank you so much to everyone who read and/or reviewed this story. Your attention really does mean the world to me. : )**

**As for the future? I plan to at least attempt to finish ****Some Small Part of Love****, despite the lack of inspiration attached. ****Whispers of Love**** is progressing very slowly, but my ultimate goal is to finish that as well. I also have multiple ideas for AU Full Moon long-fics, but we'll have to wait and see if those go anywhere.**

**Once again, thanks for reading! See you all later!**


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